“My mom always hoped I would get with a nice mixed-race man like dad, but love is so colorblind. Mom was probably right though. The dad already left me for some tramp.
And of course, like all white men, my baby-daddy won’t want to pay his child support. I already told him, ‘You want to keep your license so you can drive that bleach-blond tramp around in your little Jaguar, right? Better step up.”
Despite her future motherhood, Malia is still considering her college options. “It’s not like Stanford or Berkeley are going to, like, turn me down for being a teen mother. Hello, I’m the president’s daughter.
This doesn’t ruin my plans for a future at all. I can probably get a book deal out of this in a few years. MTV already offered to give me my own show, White House Baby-Momma-Drama or something stupidly titled like that. I was like, no way – that’s so white trash.”
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